This newsletter started this summer, around the time when my parental leave was ending. I was juggling going back to work with being the primary caregiver until my son started daycare. It was a lot. But it was fun. I was getting mad about New Yorker articles on sleep training and wanted answers about my body that stumped postpartum nurses. I wanted an outlet, an excuse to spend time looking up research articles on topics that I had never really considered academically but were suddenly incredibly relevant to my new normal as a parent. I wanted to write about things I was experiencing and hash out some barely-coherent-at-the-time reactions I was having about being a “hormonal mother” and language around developmental milestones that made me feel uneasy.
This newsletter is still fun, but it’s been harder to write consistently these past few months. In addition to entering our second year of COVID and the likely postponement of vaccine approval for children under five and omicron and run-of-the-mill baby sicknesses and job stresses and life stresses and just *waves arms around frantically* ALL OF THIS, other things have taken precedence. Not to mention that I wrote about how important abortion access is to mental health right before the Supreme Court’s hearing on the Texas abortion law, where my existence as both an adoptee and a gestational parent was treated as fodder for anti-choice rhetoric. Life’s been hard, y’all. I know I don’t have to tell you.
All of this is to say, I’m still here. I still want to read and write about mental health related to pregnancy and parenting. I’m excited about some future professional opportunities for me to do so more formally, which I look forward to sharing with you. I want to keep summarizing new(ish) scientific articles and discuss mental health 101 topics. I also want to challenge myself in writing pieces that are more expansive, more personal. I can’t promise that I’ll be consistent, but I hope you’ll continue to be part of this journey with me.
I also just want to thank you for subscribing. That sounds like such a hollow statement, but I really mean it. It makes me feel less alone, when parenting (even when partnered) can sometimes feel very lonely. I hope you’ve gotten something out of my ramblings. I hope life is less hard for you, whatever that means, in 2022. See you there.
A random list of things I enjoyed reading in the past few months that may or may not be related to parenting and that I thought you might enjoy, too:
How to Care Less About Work (Atlantic): An excerpt from the new book by Anne Helen Petersen and Charlie Warzel, Out of Office: The Big Problem and Bigger Promise of Working From Home. I’m generally a sucker for anything that combats the internalized message that work should be the be all, end all of my identity, especially as a new parent, so this was very therapeutic to read. Looking forward to diving into the whole book soon.
Left Behind: The Build Back Better Act Makes Families a Bargaining Chip (The Baffler): Oh, you know, your average story about how important national paid family leave is, yet how it’s never treated as such.
What Children Lose When Their Brains Develop Too Fast (Wall Street Journal): Alison Gopnik summarizes the science behind why we should let kids be kids for as long as they can and offers a counternarrative to the messaging (scaremongering, really) around how babies need XYZ different types of learning/skills to be successful adults. She also sneaks in yet another (apparently necessary?) argument about why paid family leave is crucial.
What We Are Not Teaching Boys About Being Human (New York Times): Thanks to the mom in one of my Facebook groups for sharing this essay about raising boys, and how the author is currently writing a book around this very topic. Raising a son, I’m always on the lookout for pieces like this.
I’m Feeling the Loss of a 13-Year-Old Perspective (Vulture). I recently finished the superb Hulu series PEN15 and sobbed during the finale. This is a lovely interview with the creators about the finale (spoiler-filled). It is a weird liminal space to watch shows about adolescence and think about both yourself and your (future) child, especially a show like this that takes place in the early 2000s when I was in middle school. I highly recommend it.
I Grew Up Poor: How Am I Supposed to Raise My Middle-Class Kids? (New York Times): I did not grow up poor, but my son will definitely grow up with more financial resources than me, which can feel weird. I hope, similar to this author, that I can instill in him that, “Our circumstances do not determine our worth.”
Writing In An Age of Despair (Men Yell At Me): If you aren’t subscribed to Lyz Lenz’s newsletter yet, you should be. She writes so well about parenting and divorce and politics and religion and being a Midwesterner and, well, everything. I devoured her book Belabored: A Vindication of the Rights of Pregnant Women when I was pregnant. This piece was written in 2017 but is timeless (and timely).
Taylor Swift’s Chai Sugar Cookies (Joy the Baker): Not related to parenting at all, but these cookies are very good, festive for this season, and well worth the expensive spices I had to buy to make them. Enjoy!
Also, because we’re in the giving season, here a few charities our family is donating to this year, with the theme of parenthood and promoting reproductive justice: